“No offense, but I’d rather crawl neked through cut glass” said the Texas Ranger on last week’s episode of Revolution. He was talking about trusting the show’s bad guys, but his expression reminded me how much I’d rather crawl neked through cut glass than to pay full price for things instead of using coupons, finding sales, and saving my money.

I’d actually rather do a lot of miserable things than to throw my hard earned money at the wind. In fact, that Texas Ranger inspired us to launch our first ever game of I’d Rather. We’ll kick it off and you join in with your own in the comments.

I’d Rather…

Seymour: Personally I’d rather play leap frog with a unicorn than pay the cost of popcorn and a soda at a movie theater.

Doolittle: I’d rather shove an entire Slim Jim through my sinus cavity than to keep watching the thermonuclear meltdown of our economic economy.

Seymour: Economic economy? Isn’t that pretty much redundant, repetitive and saying the same thing over and over and over and over….

Anyways, I’d rather shave off a homeless man’s beard and use it as my personal loofah than to pay fifty dollars for a t-shirt.

Doolittle: I’d rather tumble down a flight of stairs while smoking a cigarette laced with lead paint through an asbestos filter than to pay $500 for a cell phone.

Seymour: I’d rather drink for a week from the septic tank of the 700 lb neighbor than to pay for traditional cable television.

Photo Courtesy of Jesse Wojdylo

Photo Courtesy of Jesse Wojdylo

7 Ways to Start Saving Money Right Now

If you combine the principle of inflation with a classic expression popularized by Abraham Lincoln, you’ll discover that a penny saved…ain’t much. But a few dollars saved over and over can add up to hundreds fast.

In our collective efforts to avoid living in cardboard boxes and bedding with newspapers (even if it is the extra large Sunday edition), we thought a few practical, easy-to-use money saving ideas would be in order.

  1. Nix the Cable. Go with Hulu or Netflix. Not only will you save tons of greenbacks, but you’ll also sound really cool when you brag about how tech savvy you are to your friends. Double win.
  2. Embrace Thrifting. Take a hop to the local thrift store and browse around. “I’ma take your grandpa’s style. No for real – ask your grandpa – can I have his hand-me-downs?” Macklemore would be proud. 
  3. Starbucks? Seriously? Do you really need to contribute to the slave labor of homeless, goatless, armless, headless children in south America? Brew your own and look for alternatives.
  4. Pack your own lunch. It certainly might not compare to the triple layered bacon monster on a bagel that you can get from Wendy’s, but your wallet (and your waist) will thank you for it.
  5. Carpool if you can. This point is not recommended if you ride your bicycle to work. That is, of course, unless you have pegs on the tires.
  6. Cut your own hair. This is one of the best ways to save a quick $10 – $15. Also, here’s a great hair cutting tutorial that will teach you everything you need to know to cut hair in only a minute.
  7. Cut your credit cards. This will not only save you from spending money you don’t have, but they can also double as ice scrapers for your car windows saving you even more money.

Face it, life is expensive, and it’s easy to have nothing at the end of the week to even show for your efforts. There are literally thousands of ideas that help people save money everyday. What do YOU do to save money? Do you have any tips, shortcuts, hints, tricks, life altering earth shattering money saving ways?

Don’t forget about our first ever game of I’d Rather. Come up with a real zinger and drop it in the comments below.